Dante

Lyrics:

Not So Epic Rap Battle Of History

Homer the Poet

VS!

Dante!

BEGIN!

 

Homer:

Stumble into this fight? And I thought I was the one who was blind.

Going on an Odyssey against an oddity; and this Devil May Cry.

I’m a Trojan, busting walls down in this fight to make thee fall like Troy, forlorn!

You defiled the term Sweet New Style. Your little movement’s been done before, And now I’m  already bored!

 

Dante:

You couldn’t stand against my stanzas. I won’t pander, I’m a pander, dare to fight me?

There was nothing poetic about your verse structure, believe me, I know about rhyme scheme!

Fight me? Then spit it as you are, choose any of your gaggly plethora of languages!

Whilst I take the reins, I reign! And Dante Alighieri’s allegories are pentameters higher than Homer Simpson!

 

Homer:

And you claim to be better? Certainly don’t show it.

I’m anonymous and STILL a better Poet!

Your rap structure? Divine Comedy’s what it is!

Bring me to attention with some Tuscan Chicken!

You Italians don’t have a pot to piss in.

Be a critic? I started this big wit lit!

He who wrote Inferno can’t spit any fire.

I’m a Pantheon, and every layer of your pyre!

I’m toxic on the track; hemlock.

The Bedrock your turf was built upon!

You’re elastic while I stretch wide, Play-Doh.

Leading the people of Greece, just ask Plato!

You weren’t taught well enough, chances shot.

Even if you aren’t Great, here’s my school of thought!

While literature becomes even more fine.

I rule centuries, you’re buried in the sands of time!

 

Dante:

I suppose I would expect the first clown to pick up a quill would write tales poor...

Whilst I wear the crown of the Three upon my head, I’ll knock the self-proclaimed one off of yours.

As if it’d make them more to my liking, you choose to rap your trash all fast.

Yet my words of rhyme scheme? You aren’t the only one to bring such to past.

Sei fregato...

Yes, inspired for centuries.

Yet your Oddyssey? People want to start forgetting!

Talking to me about fire, are we?

Wrote the Iliad, yet your songs are ear-bleedingly alarming!

Your style is that of a swine, unrelatable!

Who wrote your sloppy works? Debatable!

Bring out LAYERS of Hell onto your fables!

People question your existence! What do you bring to the table?!

Middle Ages and yet I kick it modern!

It’s the Supreme against the honorless goner!

Slay a text suitor as my rhymes crescendo!

Your style’s Purgatory; in a perpetual limbo!

But alas, I understand zeros writing heroes!

From the sick I spit you’d best phone Hippo!

You’re a bust, and now I feel.

Left in the dust by betters is your Achilles Heel!

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

ON THE NEXT NOT SO EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY!